Sonia recalls Maneka's stormy 'Choti Bahu' years

Listen to this article in summarized format Listen Loading... × × Subscribe to Unlock AI Briefing and Premium Content New Year Offer 24 Hours Left Subscribe Now Already a member? Sign In What's Included Exclusive Stories Daily ePaper Access Smart Market Tools Curated Investment Ideas Ad-lite Experience Subscription Towards the end of 1973, Sanjay Gandhi was introduced to Maneka Gandhi , a young woman Sonia Gandhi remembers in her memoir as vivacious and full of life. Maneka was ten years younger than Sanjay and still a minor at the time. The two married within a year, when Maneka turned 18, and she entered the Gandhi household as its “Choti Bahu”. But what began as a new chapter in the family's life gradually gave way to domestic tensions and political differences that eventually drove Maneka out of the household. Looking back, Sonia says the episode had all the makings of what would today be called a “reality show”. “Maneka was…full of zest. It was refreshing at first to have a younger sister-in-law in the house. But slowly, the atmosphere began to change, with irritations cropping up in the home,” Sonia Gandhi writes. Also Read: 'Kept my Italian passport because it was part of me': Sonia Gandhi recounts renouncing Italian citizenship in memoir In her 526-page memoir, Belonging: A Journey of Love, published by HarperCollins India, Sonia looks back on her life, from her childhood in post-war Italy and marriage into the Nehru-Gandhi family to Rajiv Gandhi 's assassination and her eventual entry into politics. Live Events Sonia, whom the household staff called “Bahurani”, recalls that she initially saw Maneka as another daughter of the family. She believed there was enough space for both of them in the household and considered them “equal daughters of the house”. “...but she probably saw it as a putdown,” Sonia writes. She says she would usually ignore Maneka's rude remarks rather than allow an argument to escalate. There were occasions, however, when she felt compelled to respond sharply. The strain was not limited to the two women. Arguments between Sanjay and Maneka also became more frequent, and their increasingly heated exchanges did not go unnoticed by other members of the family. “When annoyed, she would use expletives, even in the presence of my mother-in-law, that were taboo in the home; they embarrassed him and shocked us,” Sonia recalls. At the same time, she acknowledges that adjusting to life in a joint family may have been difficult for Maneka, given her outgoing personality and active social life. For a while, things appeared to improve. Sonia writes that Maneka seemed more settled after she began accompanying Sanjay to political meetings and programmes. But politics soon became another source of friction. Also Read: Sonia Gandhi went from 'absolutely not' to 'theek hai' to firm no while deciding on taking up PM post According to Sonia, Maneka's growing influence over Sanjay began to affect his relationship with Rajiv. The brothers, who had been almost inseparable until a few months earlier, increasingly disagreed with each other. During the Emergency, Sanjay's political role became more prominent. He began giving interviews in which he spoke critically of the bureaucracy's slow functioning and expressed views that could be interpreted as criticism of the prime minister. Although sections of the Congress supported Sanjay's political ambitions, some of his activities reportedly troubled Indira Gandhi. Sonia writes that Indira believed Maneka was encouraging Sanjay's political ambitions instead of persuading him to exercise restraint. “She had said to Cabinet Secretary P N Dhar about her young daughter-in-law: ‘Uske abhi se par nikalne lage hain.’ (She has started growing wings already),” the memoir recounts. Relations worsened further after the Congress's defeat in the 1978 elections. Rajiv held Sanjay partly responsible for the setback. He believed his brother's stubbornness, impulsive behaviour, poorly planned programmes and decisions taken without Indira's knowledge had contributed significantly to the party's defeat. Sonia recalls one particularly bitter exchange between the brothers. “I cannot forgive you, Sanjay, you have brought Ma to this pass,” Rajiv told him. Indira was deeply upset by the confrontation but agreed with Rajiv. She questioned Sanjay about decisions he had taken without consulting her. When Maneka intervened, Indira challenged her to deny the allegations. Maneka eventually withdrew from the argument, but Sonia writes that her resentment towards the family only deepened. The atmosphere at home became increasingly uncomfortable. Sonia recalls Maneka making sarcastic remarks and alleges that she began passing stories about Rajiv and Sonia to journalists she knew. One such story, according to the memoir, claimed that Rajiv and Sonia had planned to leave India following the Congress's electoral defeat. The tensions took a more painful turn after Sanjay was killed in an aircraft crash on June 23, 1980. His death left the family grieving, but disagreements over Maneka's political future soon emerged. Sonia writes that Maneka's mother was believed to be encouraging Sanjay's supporters within the Congress to press for a political role for his widow. Indira, however, was reluctant. She felt Maneka, then 23, lacked the experience needed for a leadership position. She also believed that Maneka should devote her attention to her three-month-old son, Feroze Varun Gandhi, and allow herself more time before entering politics. The differences became increasingly difficult to contain. Less than a year after Sanjay's death, an incident surrounding Varun's first birthday further strained relations. Sonia recalls that Indira had suggested a small celebration for the child. She later discovered that a party had instead been organised at the home of Vasundhara Raje, daughter of the former Rajmata of Gwalior. Raje, described in the memoir as an RSS supporter and political opponent of Indira, would later help arrange the sale of Maneka's magazine, Surya, to an RSS member. Sonia writes that Indira saw both developments as deliberate provocations, particularly the sale of the magazine, which she considered an affront to herself, Sanjay's memory and the family's legacy. “With this act Maneka had crossed all limits. To my mother-in-law, it was a deliberate challenge,” she writes. The final confrontation came while Indira was away on an official visit to London. According to Sonia, Indira received information that Maneka had begun moving her belongings out of the family residence. When Indira returned, she confronted Maneka over what she regarded as disloyal political activities and asked her to make a choice: abandon those activities or leave the household. Maneka responded with a letter containing accusations against her mother-in-law, Sonia writes. The memoir suggests that Maneka had already decided how she wanted her departure to unfold. Sonia alleges that the intention was to leave the household while publicly placing responsibility for the split on Indira. She also claims that Maneka had discussed the plan with a journalist friend several weeks before the confrontation. Maneka's version of events, according to the memoir, also held Rajiv and Sonia responsible for what had happened. “The manner in which the whole incident was manipulated, the propaganda circus that followed, turned that sordid event into what would be termed today a ‘reality show’,” Sonia writes. Leaving the household did not bring the dispute to an end. The family subsequently became involved in a legal battle over access to Varun, with Sonia writing that Maneka eventually denied them visitation rights. Sonia recalls another episode as Varun's fourth birthday approached. Indira, who was then occupied with the worsening crisis in Punjab, asked Sonia to take some presents to the child's nursery sc